you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
