walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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