Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
