No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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