How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize
