omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Fuck appropriateness.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
