Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
