I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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