Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
