gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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