After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
