singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
