I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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