So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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