omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
foreskin is a definite game changer
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
