:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize