Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
