that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
