So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
