nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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