yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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