Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
