dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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