Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
