I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
