i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
