I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He kissed a someone with a penis
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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