Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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