Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
