Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize