Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
