Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize