Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
