Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize