This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize