idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this just has baby written all over it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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