I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
