Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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