is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
