I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize