is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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