Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
