So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
this hospital has no fireball
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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