He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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