Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
