So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
