So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
