What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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