Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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