Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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