i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
