i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just want nice things and good sex
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
