I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
