Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Damn victory sex feels great
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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