Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Just cropdusted the office
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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