He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
