I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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