Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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