Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
