Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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