Betty ford says i'm here all night
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
