i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
