so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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