ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
