do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
