he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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