i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
